


Star Light, Star Bright

by Listenerofshadows



Series: Sander Sides One-Shots [16]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Arguing, Crying tw, Fortunately He has Roman, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Platonic LAMP, Logan Needs A Hug, Platonic Logince - Freeform, implied verbal abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-27 22:51:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16228937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Listenerofshadows/pseuds/Listenerofshadows
Summary: Every night, Logan would climb onto the rooftops to stare at the stars. He wants more than anything to become an astronomer. But how can he become an astronomer when his eyesight is failing him?





	Star Light, Star Bright

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I should be working on my big bang fic
> 
> Also Me: It’s been way too long since I’ve written some LOGAN ANGST
> 
> *Coughs* ANyways this is based off an [anon ask](https://dailypattondoodle.tumblr.com/post/178798259245/logan-loves-to-look-at-the-stars-but-over-the) that @robanilla sent to @dailypattondoodle on Tumblr and I just had to write it!

Every night, Logan Barry would sneak out of his bedroom window. Not to do what stereotypical rebellious teenagers in movies did. Rather, he climbed out his window and onto the rooftop of the house.

There, he sat and watched the stars. His family lived in a rural part of town–close enough to the comforts of civilization but far from the light pollution of the suburbs. Logan liked that.

It was quiet in the country where the stars shined, unhindered by street lamps and store front lights. There was the occasional chirping of crickets or a coyote’s howl–but those were comforting sounds. Much more comfortable than the sounds that faced Logan inside the house.

At first, Logan escaped onto the rooftop to avoid the noise. But then, he escaped to the rooftop purely to see the stars. He sought out to find everything he could about stars in his free time.

He knew all the constellations by heart. Leo, Orion, Ursa Major–he repeated their names in his head whenever things became stressful. The repetition of the names smoothed him. 

Logan knew about dwarf stars and red giants. He knew most stars were billion and billion of light years away. He knew that by the time it took for the light of a star to reach Earth, that the star could already be dead.

When he was sixteen, he got his first job tutoring other students. It was only a few bucks, but a few bucks more than he had prior. He saved his money up for nearly ten months until he could purchase a telescope. 

But there was a problem.

His eyesight was failing him. Logan had always had poor eyesight–he wore glasses since the age of five. But it was different this time. There were whispers when they thought his back was turned. Whispers that he could lose his eyesight completely.

Day by day, the stars grew dimmer to his eyes. Until one day, he couldn’t see them at all. He cried when that happened. The reality of his situation hit him like a freight train.

Logan wanted to work for NASA. He wanted to be an astronomer. He wanted to study _the stars_.

But those he couldn’t. It was foolish to think otherwise. After all, who has ever heard of a blind astronomer? 

He holed himself in his room and refused to come out of the house for days. No amount of yelling would drive him out. He sat in his bed, surrounded by books he could no longer read and pictures he could no longer see.

Logically in the back of his mind, Logan knew he was being irrational. His life wasn’t over. With a few accommodations he could perform life almost on the same level as before.

 _But you can’t see the stars._ His mind reminded him mercilessly.

One night, when the crickets were singing away, he heard a knock on his window. Figuring it to be a tree branch, he ignored it.

But then it happened again, this time in a more rhythmic fashion. Logan knew that knock. He stomped over and unlatched the window.

“Roman.”

“Logan!” The teenager in question boomed, as he hoisted himself into the room, “I’ve come to rescue you from your tower!”

Logan just knew even without seeing that the other was striking some ridiculous pose. Like something straight out of Sailor Moon. Knowing this, he rolled his eyes in irritation.

“This is not a tower, Roman. This is a room on a two-story house.”  
  
“You know what I mean!” Roman huffed, “We haven’t seen you in nearly two weeks. Patton and Virgil are getting worried.  _I’m_  worried.”

“Well, I haven’t been able to see any of you for nearly a month.” Logan shot back, instantly regretting his words.

There was a pause. Logan hated that he couldn’t tell what Roman’s reaction to his words were. He gritted his teeth as he waited for the other to verbally respond.

“L—Logan I’m sorry—I didn’t mean—”

“I know you didn’t,” Logan cut in, “It’s just a colloquial expression—I shouldn’t be offended by it.”

He slumped against the window seat, sighing.

“Why are you here, Roman?”

“I already told you.” He said, sliding next to Logan, “I’m here to rescue you.”

“It’s illogical to try saving people who don’t want to be rescued.” Logan murmured, “Have you ever thought that perhaps I  _want_  to be in this tower?”

“What, so are you just going to roll over and give up?” Roman scoffed, “The Logan I know would never give up.”

“The Logan you knew could see!” He burst out, “I’m not him—I’m not Logan. I’m just—”

His words seized up as his throat became clogged with sobs. Someone placed a tentative hand on his shoulder—Roman. Logan collapsed against him like a supernova implosion. Roman embraced him, resting his head over Logan’s shoulder. He held a strong yet gentle grip on Logan, an anchor in the darkness that had become Logan’s reality.

Logan held on just as tightly, breaking into further wretched sobs. Roman hummed over it—soft and reassuring. Logan didn’t recognize the melody, but it eventually helped calm him down.

“Listen. I have a video I think you should listen to,” Roman whispered, still holding onto him, “okay?”

Logan nodded mutely. Roman kept one arm around him while he used the other to presumably pull out his phone. Logan heard the sounds of the touch screen keyboard before a video was selected.

A woman’s voice started speaking, talking about how supernovas are created and how astronomers are able to record them. Logan didn’t understand why Roman was having him listen to this video. Wasn’t this just rubbing salt into the wound?

But then a couple minutes in, the woman revealed she lost her sight. She was blind. A blind astronomer. Logan listened, slack jawed, as she revealed how exactly she used sounds to analyze data from stars.

“Her name is Wanda Diaz-Merced,” Roman informed him after the video ended, “and if she can find a way to be an astronomer, then so  _can_  you. Sight or no sight, you’re still you, Logan. Me and the others will be with you no matter what.”

Logan’s mind was reeling. He could still pursue his dreams, sight or no sight. He could still work at NASA. He could still be an astronomer—if he put his mind to it. But none of that mattered to the fact that Roman and the others still cared about him. They still wanted to be there for him.

He knew it had been irrational, but he’d been worried they’d leave him to live in the darkness alone. But Roman was here, next to him, one of his arms slung securely over Logan. He could hear Roman’s breaths, slow and steady.

There was too many emotions swirling inside his brain, and although Logan was eloquent at words, he wasn’t eloquent at expressing these emotions with words. He decided to focus on the one thing he could communicate. A worry for Roman’s horrid grammar usage.

“I,” Logan choked, “You mean ‘the others and I will be with you.’”

Roman laughed, “See? That’s the old Nerdasaurus I know and love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wanda Diaz-Merced is a real person and she is an inspiration! She lost her eye-sight in her twenties and found a way to still be able to be an astronomer by translating the visual data into sounds. She did a [TED talk](https://www.ted.com/talks/wanda_diaz_merced_how_a_blind_astronomer_found_a_way_to_hear_the_stars) about it and that’s the video Roman and Logan listen to.


End file.
